his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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