how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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