Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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