I wish my penis had an off switch
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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