I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Who did Billy Mays play for?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
