So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
