After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
