Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I didn't notice because vodka
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
