I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Is it penis luge time yet?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
They have beer where we have blood.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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