when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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