$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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