i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think your dad took our porno
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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