is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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