I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
