Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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