Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
