She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out