quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon