oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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