The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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