They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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