We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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