I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
