I need help removing her.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
