When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize