If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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