I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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