I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
