What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
