we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
