If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
