:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
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Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
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You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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