hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize