The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
