apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the gays at disneyland are vicious
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
