i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize