I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
