I feel great
I just peed on a car
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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