Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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