We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
