Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
