I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
