ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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