I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
