trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
