i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
