And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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