he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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