Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
