Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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