..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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