office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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