it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
