i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
