We won't sleep together?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
