i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
