haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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