I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
