just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
