She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
