Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
