Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
