I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
