My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
