im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
