So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize