Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
